On this day, some years ago, my mother died. I don’t have words to describe the cocktail of pain and emotions that have poured through my soul since then; grief broke me into tiny little pieces.
On some days, I feel like I am over it; on some other days, I sob and shake and struggle to breathe. Sometimes, I can push it away all day; at other times, I allow it to rush back in the dead of the night.
Through it all, I am grateful for the emotional generosity of the people who have listened to me when I could not stop talking about my mother’s life and death. The ones who have given me time to hear my stories without shutting me up with “move on” and the other common phrases people tell you when they want you to stop talking about your grief.
In a way, their listening helped me process my loss and find some clarity.
Now, I also take some time out to listen to people going through grief and need someone to talk to. It doesn’t matter if they lost their loved one last week, last month, last year or even twenty years ago. If they want to talk, I listen as they share their memories, joys, regrets and pains.
I listen as they talk about things that may be too difficult to discuss with other people in their lives. I listen as they unburden and try to find healing – no judgements, prejudices, preaching, just life-giving soul-to-soul conversations.
I am not a therapist, and I am not a life coach; I am not a certified grief counsellor; I am just another soul, like you, trying to make sense of life and of death.
I’m so sorry for your loss. The grief never goes away but it gets better with time. For the longest time,I didn’t celebrate Christmas and entered New Years with grief because it reminded me of when I lost my dad. It will be 14 years this year but I still talk about him like he left yesterday. So grieve if you must,talk about her as much as you can,the talks keep her memory alive. Always know that she is with you,in your heart forever.
Hello Pamela, I am so sorry about your Dad. Thank you so much for your comforting words, this means a lot to me. God bless
I just stumbled on your post on Facebook this morning, my dad passed yesterday at 63 from cancer, I feel lost, I feel numb, I can’t believe it’s my father am calling late, how do I cope?
Hello Edidiong, I am so sorry about your Dad’s passing. This is one of life’s most devastating pain, and it will come with a roller-coaster of emotions. It will be hard but please take it one day at a time. You will be in my prayers tonight, Please let me know if you will like to talk.
I loved a lady, we have been in good terms with each other. Her ex came nocking that he wants her back and has been threatening war if she doesn’t comply. So I tried advising her so that it doesn’t affect us both, but rather she broke up with me that I don’t trust her.